Going solo - why you should do things by yourself

For as long as I can remember, I have been scared of doing things by myself. Going to the shops, the gym, or even a walk, were not activities I would ever consider doing solo. For some people, being or doing things by themselves is a breeze. They don’t overthink it in the slightest. As you can guess from the first line of this article, I am not one of those people. I would get inside my head and convince myself that the following would happen; people would judge or laugh at me for being alone, I would feel very awkward in my own company, and I wouldn’t enjoy the experience because I was by myself. This is ironic because I am by myself a lot.

At twenty-seven, I did not think I would still be single. It has taken me a long time to accept that I may be single for many more years to come, and I am finally at peace with that. Like any normal relationship, companionship plays a big part. A significant other to do mundane activities with, as well as exciting ones, such as eating out, travelling, etc. Would I like a person to do these things with? Of course, it’s just not my time at the moment, and I know what some of you may be thinking; “Don’t you have any friends to do things with?” I do. In fact, I have three, very close, friends whom I care about very much. The thing is, as I’m sure many of you know if you’re close in age to me, is that as you get older, everyone has their own lives. Which involves them moving away for careers and having relationships of their own. Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud and happy for all of my friends. It just makes meeting up a more significantly well-planned, in advance affair!

If I am being completely honest with you, I feel like I have spent the majority of my twenties being scared and waiting, although I am not one-hundred percent sure what for. A partner? An opportunity perhaps? But what I do know is this fear and waiting has surely stopped me from doing a lot of things I have wanted to do. However, as I am now in my late twenties and my confidence has developed, why should I let fear and being single stop me from doing things by myself?

My Costa order, taken for my Instagram story.

Now by no means have I suddenly turned over a new leaf and become a fearless-independent goal-getter (that is the end goal), but I have started to challenge myself more and do things I wouldn’t normally do by myself. Last Sunday for the first time, I took myself on a solo coffee date to my local Costa. I was quite anxious, as the thoughts previously mentioned about being judged or awkward, came to the forefront of my mind. After taking my iced coffee and food to a quiet corner table, I came to the realisation that not a single person there cared about my presence, let alone the fact that I was by myself. People talked amongst themselves or tapped away on their laptops to be interested in the likes of my anxious self. We may not want to admit it, but the truth is, no one actually cares about you (in the sense of what you are doing I mean, not that you are not loved or cared about). Everyone is too wrapped up in their own lives to be judging you, and even if they are, do you actually care? I’m guessing not. To address the anxious part of my solo visit and not wanting to just stare into space, I decided to arm myself with my notebook and spent my time writing down content ideas and personal goals. Before I knew it, I had been there for over 45 minutes and had managed to demolish both my sausage sandwich and a slice of cake.

I enjoyed my own company and also managed to be productive at the same time. Some of you may do this on the regular, to which I applaud you, but for me, this was a triumph. Although only a stepping stone in my grand plan, I have decided to keep pushing myself and to stop fear, my relationship status, or lack of social life stop me from doing what I want to do. I even have plans of booking a solo holiday next year if I can. There is a big world out there that I want to explore and I want to cram as much as I can into my one life.

Why not challenge yourself and do something you would never do by yourself this week?

Get out there and start living your best life; we owe it to ourselves to live life to the fullest!

If you resonated with this article in any way or if you have any other solo date ideas for me, please DM me on Insta. It would be nice to connect with people who are in a similar situation and build a support network for one another.